'The older I get, the more time I spend - as a percentage of each day - on crafting better questions... Life punishes the vague wish and rewards the specific ask.'
- Tim Ferriss
You are capable of doing far more than you can even comprehend.
There are parts of you that have yet to be unlocked or fully uncovered.
But often the greatest challenge we all face is in taking that first step.
For many things, it is wise to heed what you are told.
This includes your own voice, the one that lives inside your head.
But there are times when the rewards far outweigh the risks. It is in these times where it is wise to jump.
A trip away from home, away from work, into the unknown.
Time to taste, time to feel, time to learn.
Today, here and now.
'It was the dragon', said Billy. 'There's no such thing', Mother started to say. 'There is a dragon', Billy insisted, 'A very big dragon'. And Billy patted the dragon on the head. The dragon wagged its tail happily. Then even faster than it had grown, the dragon started getting smaller. Soon it was kitten size again.
'I don't mind dragons this size', said Mother.
- An excerpt from There's No Such Thing as a Dragon by Jack Kent
"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me the most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive"
- James Baldwin
The world closes shop and recedes into Safe Mode.
The mind opens up and creates a bunch of noise.
There are no easy distractions left to occupy it.
What should one do with all of this time freed up time?
Decisions, decisions ...
In today's world, a lot of us have the luxury of decision.
Choices to be what we want, where we want, have what we want, do what we want.
All of that potential can be overwhelming and confusing.
I learnt that it is ever more important to be mindful and clear when it comes to choosing what it is that I want.
A new year. A new decade. Vision is now on 20/20.
The pressure is on to refresh, renew and re-energise.
For me, it started with asking the question of Why.
But there are no guarantees the answers you receive will be the ones you would like to hear.
Hours roll into days.
Days roll into weeks.
And soon weeks into years.
Life is short, and yet we are often told to rush towards the end where freedom of time and money awaits.
Apparently.
What would I do if someone gave me a million dollars? "I don't know", would be the response in my head.
Money has never really been something that I've been asked much about or, even for myself, to have put much thought to. But my conditioning so far tells me this: the bigger the number, the better.
But what does 'better' even mean to me? What is it about money that I'm chasing here?
Two years ago, I decided for myself that I wanted to run away from everything and chase adventure. I wanted to shake things up, throw life in the air and see where the pieces would land. I knew I had to get away from familiar places, familiar faces and to see how far I could go on my own two feet.
Today, I sit down to get some answers from the past.
With much delay, I notice this post hidden away and sitting in the corner of my laptop.
Perhaps there was a part of me hoping that it would simmer away and develop more flavour. Who knows.
This is a reflection of 2018 for me.
Better late than never?
Taking a break has made me think about who I'm writing for. It would make sense if these stories are intended to allow others to understand myself better, but maybe this is only a small part of it.
Articulating experiences through storytelling has allowed for me to glean deeper insights into my own past. I am writing for myself.
A wise friend once said, "When in doubt, diversify".
Most people would read this and think along the lines of financial diversification. The idea of not being reliant on a single source of income, for there are many things are completely out of your control that can steal this stability from right beneath you. My recent transition from university taught me that this can apply much more broadly, culminating in the idea of diversifying one's sense of identity.
It's fascinating how we dedicate time, money and effort towards training our bodies, our careers and our bank accounts but rarely do we consider training our mind. Starting a meditation routine has showed me that the mind in it's day-to-day, hour-to-hour, minute-to-minute state can actually be a very noisy, chaotic and unfamiliar place, something which I have never really paid any real attention to in the past.
Never did I ever imagine that I would be standing in a place like this, on a peak that I ascended with the help of my own car, let alone the idea of living and working in a regional town in Central Queensland. It seemed all too crazy. And exciting. And full of possibilities. But also doable and in control, because here I was. Everything was coming together.
The writing was on the wall. Life was about to take me in a new direction and in fact, right across to the other side of the country. And I was genuinely excited. I had 3 remaining weeks to spend back home in Perth and I was able to step back and breathe a bit. It made me realise that the life I had built in this city, the people and support systems I cultivated around me played no small part in giving me a deep sense of security and bolstering my confidence in taking this leap across the country and into the unknown.
When conversations are able to float into topics you would never have the chance to talk about otherwise with people who I only got to know over a very short amount of time, that's when I knew I had found it. This is about the meaningful connections that go above and beyond just getting along with another person because you share some common interests and enjoy each other's company; the intense feeling of mutual understanding that develops from being in an environment where there is nothing holding you back from being honest.
Celebrating New Years Eve did not mean doing something grand or celebrating just for the sake of the date. It meant getting together the family and people close to you, to share a meal at the dinner table and to talk about the past year and then sharing the moment when midnight comes along. It's not really about what happens but more on who you get to celebrate the occasion with that is more important.
Personally, I do not consider myself a very emotional person and would self identify with terms such as 'calm' and 'deals well with pressure'. My experience of leaving Perth for a 3 month placement with a non profit in Melbourne was an emotionally turbulent time but I did not want to (or did not know how to) admit it to myself at the time. It took me some time to recognise the noise in my own mind and then to appease the turbulence by going through some tough questions.
October 2017 was an intense whirlwind of an experience. It all started from a Facebook post and before I knew it, I was spinning pedals to raise money for a good cause which spiralled into many long days on the saddle with a new team which culminated in a 3 consequtive day pro/am race in the annual Tour Of Margaret River. This is a story of how I overcome my own doubts and did something I never believed I was capable of.